Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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