Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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