he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
