nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Duck Duck Cougar?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
In America we eat man semen.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
