brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
