So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
