I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
They took my balls.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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