If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
