Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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