so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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