I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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