This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
