Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I've blown a few things in my day
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
