I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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