Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
