Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
