I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize