piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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