Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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