FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
