I was born with a shot glass in my hand
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
