I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
