I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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