every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
