we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
