btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
