Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize