; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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