Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
