we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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