what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
