So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
