Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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