1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I want her autograph on my taint
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Cover your peen. We're going out.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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