Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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