well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
