How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
