She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
