I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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