u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
