I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
