I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
