He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize