i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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