His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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