my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Also, beer. Big fan.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize