I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize