he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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