bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
