Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
