I cockslap morals
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
