one word: firstdatebathroomanal
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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