How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize