They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
