I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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