Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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