Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
