The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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